Story:Where Were You When Chim Got Shot?
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Foreword
On a warm day in 79 PC, outside the IgRS Radio Room, then-public figure Bweichec Wiche delivered a speech to a crowd numbering in the hundreds. Not many people remember the words of this speech, as they were over-shadowed as then-Federal Foreign Minister Agric Chim attempted to address Wiche and the crowd. Chim was then shot by someone in the crowd, to Wiche's dismay and utter disappointment, for lack of better terms to describe his reaction. What followed were the speech's most famous words: "Do not shoot at the FFM in spite of his incompetence."
Chim, luckily, survived the incident, and was frequently visited by Wiche in hospital, where it is said that they became friends. The next day, on Radio Brenji, after some general reporting on the incident, radio host Jac Grasela broadcasted an invitation for listeners to send in letters explaining where they were when they heard the news that then-FFM Agric Chim had been shot. The following are a selection of the responses that Radio Brenji received.
I heard the news on the radio. I was lying in bed, not having gotten up in the morning. When I eventually got up, and walked into the office at the twelfth bell. Everyone seemed to be paying so much attention to the radio that they didn't notice I showed up late. If anything, I'm thankful he was shot.
I was listening to the radio as I was washing my clothes. It's how I usually wash my clothes. As I mixed the fabrics in the bucket of soapy water, I heard that classic breaking news sound effect. I put down the tunic I was holding so I could listen more closely. Then I heard Chim was shot! I was so shocked and surprised that I knocked the bucket over! I had to go downstairs to get it.
I HEARD ON RADIO THAT CHIM IS SHOT. THIS IS GOOD. VICTORY FOR PREFICHI. JIFANCI IS PREFICHI TERRITORY. FEDERATION WILL FALL. PREFICHI WILL RISE.
I read it in the Times of Brenji. Have you read the Times of Brenji? It's a fantastic newspaper, filled with reliable news for reliable people. None of the pathetic Radio Brenji nonsense. Get your news from paper.
It is suspected that the Times of Brenji interfered with the invitation for letters, as at least a hundred letters were sent from obviously fake names expressing support for the newspaper and denouncing Radio Brenji. This particular letter was accompanied by the most recent edition of the Times of Brenji.
I was walking home one afternoon, and a bucket fell on my head. It was full of soapy water, probably someone's washing. The bucket was on my head for a while. I tried to get it off my head, but struggled. Eventually an old woman came down from the building and helped me get the bucket off my head. She was talking about Chim getting shot. I was pretty indifferent at the time.
I got up one morning, and went into work at the office. I'm not specifying which office for privacy and security reasons. As I got off my horse and walked through the door, I went to my desk and got through a number of tasks. The nature of the tasks is something I will not specify for privacy and security reasons. After taking a break for food after the twelfth bell, I was intending to get back to work. I don't like work, but it is important for society that the work gets done. However, I was blocked, and redirected to the main room. Everyone was huddled around the radio. Apparently Chim got shot. Whatever. There's work to be done, regardless of if some governmental bigwig gets shot. But when I tried to leave the huddle, the higher-ups insisted that I keep listening like everyone else, claiming that this was important in any way, and not an irrelevant distraction. Sometime during the huddle, this post-Yechac slacker came in, despite it being well after twelfth bell. He thinks he got away with another day of slacking, but I know he was late. He's always late.
I found out about Chim getting shot today. To be honest, I'm just writing to get into the prize draw.
It is worth noting at this point that Radio Brenji did not at any point announce a prize draw for submitting letters. It is unclear where the rumour of a prize draw originated. Initially, the rumour was small enough that Radio Brenji could individually respond to dispel the rumour. However, after a day of getting significantly more letters than expected, Jac Grasela broadcasted a notice to specifically dispel the rumour, and began printing copies of the following reply letter:
At Radio Brenji, we are receiving a higher volume of letters than expected. We apologise for any inconvenience. There is no prize draw for sending in letters. Do not send us financial details. Do not send us copies of the Times of Brenji.
Tebre Fachia, however, was bold in her reply, and sent a copy of the Times of Brenji with every quantity of currency highlighted with a thick yellow marker.
Apologies, Radio Brenji. Please excuse the behaviour of our hyperactive letter-writing child. He has a bad habit of sending letters to far-away radio stations repeating whatever he heard on the last radio station he listened to. We have attempted to bring him to a psychologist multiple times. We apologise on behalf of the Gorm dynasty.
I'm a manager at a local newspaper office in Northtown. For my own safety, I'm not going to say which newspaper office. I will point out that your radio program has been plagiarised. Someone brought a radio in, and played your program. We were encouraged to listen to it by someone in a higher-up position. I thought that was strange. Several people were taking notes. I thought that was even more strange. At the end of the day, I happened to glance over one of the notes. The notes looked quite similar to what got printed in the newspaper. Reply for more details.
Radio Brenji did not follow up on this.
I saw a person in the city walking around with a bucket on their head. That seems like more important news that the radio should be focused on.
I was on a day off, walking around the city when a friend of mine started talking about Chim getting shot. I didn't believe her at the time, but later I saw a bucket fall off a roof and land on someone's head. It was kind of funny to watch. The twenty to thirty people around me would probably agree. Later an old lady came downstairs to pull the bucket off their head. The old lady was explaining something about how she accidentally kicked it off the roof because she was so surprised by the news of Chim being shot.
I was in the middle of town, watching a slacker walk into an office after twelfth bell while on my lunch break. He looked like he had just woken up. Then I heard on the radio that FFM Chim was in the hospital. Turns out he had been shot. What a chaotic age we live in.
Wait, he got shot?
At least ten different people found out about Chim getting shot from the Radio Brenji invitation for letters. This number may have been increased by the rumours about the non-existent prize draw.
How are you getting the ages of everyone submitting letters? Are you spying on people?
This question was raised by listeners after the first round of letters were selected and read live on air. Here, it is useful to explain that when a letter was received, Radio Brenji would reply with a form, asking whether the letter would be acceptable to read live on air, due to a Brenji law regarding the reading of letters on a public broadcast. This form included an optional section asking for listener's names, ages, and cities, so that Radio Brenji can better assess its audience as well as provide context for the letters. This is of course optional, so the anonymous listener of unknown age here could still be anonymous.
How long are you planning to keep asking for letters regarding news that happened months ago? Bweichec Wiche is the FFM now.
Soliciting letters gave Radio Brenji a significant amount of publicity, with the Times of Brenji interference and the prize draw rumours actually helping the radio station to reach a new audience. At the end of the year, Radio Brenji finally stopped accepting letters regarding where people were when Chim was shot.